11 Athletes you’ll likely see if you watch an Ironman (and I highly recommend that you do…)
1. The one who is pouring anything they can find on themselves to try to wash away the urine that was recently released all over their shorts and legs.
2. The athlete who motions for the crowd to cheer as they approach on their bike. I LOVE this type of athlete. Their energy and enthusiasm epitomise the spirit of the Ironman. If you don’t cheer for them, you should be banned from spectating.
3. Took as many sponges as humanly possible athlete. This athlete looks like an exotic dancer stuffing £5 notes anywhere they will possibly fit.
4. Biker who throws their water bottle at the fans. At first you may be alarmed, thinking you may of done something to offend this person. But then you realise they are just following the rules by chucking the empties in a race-specific area for easier clean-up.
5. Athlete running the Ironman with one f*%$£ng leg. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that turns me into a crazy fan than seeing these so-called handicapped people doing things that 99% of “able-bodied” people will never do. I cheer so hard I can actually taste blood (can you rip a vocal cord? Is that possible?)
6. Athlete who has turned themselves into a human billboard for something comically unrelated to running, biking, or swimming.Hey, If you run the race, you should wear whatever you feel like wearing! Just make sure there are big printed words so I can cheer you on (SARAH’S CLEANING SERVICE LOOKING GOOD!” If you print it, the fans will scream it.)
7. Athlete who printed their name AS LARGE AS POSSIBLE on their race kit. In doing so, they have announced to the spectators that they enjoy being cheered for, and therefore people will probably pretend to know you…. “LUCY oh my God is that really you???!! I have been waiting for you for MY WHOLE LIFE!!”
8. The pro who’s curled up vomiting somewhere along the course, but won’t take help because they don’t want to be disqualified.
There are rules about assisting the participants – if you help people it can actually DQ them. I’ve been lucky enough to witness athletes crawling to the finish line, its inspiring to watch people give so much.
9. Guy who bought a nice new white spandex all in one race skin suit and shaved everything. Except his a$$ crack. Which you could see clearly through his white shorts.
10. The one who looks like they just got flour-bombed with sunscreen.
11. Super triumphant athlete. They’re joy is infectious, especially as they cross the holy grail off the finish line.
You have nothing to lose at this time of the season!
Best wishes for your races!